I'm still here. A very early morning four Augusts ago, my mother, grandfather, and I traveled to the City of Newark with a truckload of Rubbermaid bins, microwaveable food, ridiculous colorful folding chairs, and kinds of electronic equipment. I was going to be moving into a dilapidated dorm (which has now been completely renovated) on the East side of the University of Delaware with no air conditioning, bare cement walls, and cold ceramic tiles. In this room, I'd live with another guy that I had never met, and had really no interest in ever meeting. Originally, I thought I had an idea of how the next four years of my life would end up, and I made every attempt possible towards the beginning to create a detailed plan of how I would stick to my life goals. I found that every bit of planning I did to try and create a life course went right out the window every minute that went by over the next four years. I learned in college that for the most part, long term planning doesn't always work out the way it's supposed to.
I don't know if I was just pissed off that morning because it was early or if I really was angry about being there at the University of Delaware. Looking back, I don't really know how I could have been that angry about the University at that point, maybe with the exception being that they placed me in a room with someone I didn't know, especially when I wanted to really move in with a high school friend of mine who was also attending the University. As I would find out, every year of the three years I lived in University housing in Newark, I ultimately ended up having dealings with UD Housing in either trying to get my roommate out of my room or me trying to move to another room. I learned in college that people are inconsiderate, will press their snooze button six times when you don't have to get up for class, throw all of their crap around the room, and that I had a hard time dealing with it.
Another defining moment of that first day was the fact that I had to leave my parents and really take care of myself for the first time in my life. I didn't really know how that one was going to work out. I had no idea how to cook anything for myself, how to do laundry efficiently, or clean on a daily basis. And I found that for myself within a few days of being there. The University added items to their "how can I piss Justin off list" by closing the dining halls on Memorial Day...which took place only a few days after I had arrived there. Because of that I couldn't use the meal plan or the dining hall that was near my dorm. I remember instead, I went to a place called Lettuce Feed You up off of Main Street, since I was looking for a sandwich or something. If you can't tell by the title, Lettuce Feed You sells salads, not really anything else. For some reason I was so angry, I just got some salad or something there (I hate salad) ate half of it, and threw the rest away. I learned in college that I probably shouldn't make irrational decisions, and go to a place that sells salad looking for sandwiches and then be angry about it.
And Mom was upset that I was leaving as well. She cried when she dropped me off that first day and she cried today at Graduation. I always like to tell the story on how ironic it was that she was so upset that I was leaving, yet I ended up coming home that next weekend. But, I understand it. Without my parents, I certainly wouldn't have went to college. I more than likely would have joined the military or done something else. Even to this day, I'm still not sure UD was right for me, or that the decisions I made here were right, but I do know that the direction my parents led me in, and the support they were able to provide were certainly better than anything I could have come up with myself. I learned in college that your family is absolutely critical to your success in the future.
And just like that first weekend that I went home to the place I was familiar with, I went home often. UD was convenient, that it allowed for me to get from Newark to Lewes within about an hour and a half. It got to the extent freshman year that I went home every single weekend. I wanted to get back to all of my friends from high school and the people I was familiar with. My negative attitude that freshman year kept me tied to the same people I had been tied to for the four years earlier. And when they went off and did different things, moved different places, and continued their lives, I was stuck in an era that no longer existed. I learned in college that you shouldn't judge every single person around you as someone you don't want to meet, especially when they make a considerable attempt to meet you.
But there was hope. I remember that first day in Newark, a friend from high school and a adjunct professor who I had known well from my professional career went to lunch at a restaurant on Elkton Rd. We sat there and talked about technology and a variety of other subjects, in a leisurely fashion over lunch. I thought to myself, this is really what college can be like. I'm going to be able to work on fun technical projects as an electrical engineer, and have intelligent conversations about things that interest me with people that have the same interests as me. I was wrong. The engineering candidates that I met that first year couldn't tell you what a capacitor was from a peanut and didn't have nearly any hands on experience with electronic equipment. However, they were very smart with math and science leading to why they graduated today from the College of Engineering. I learned in college that engineering doesn't have much to do with anything except math and science. And that it wasn't for me.
Crazy enough, I thought I could do it that first semester. I studied hard, worked my ass off, and really made an attempt to be an engineer. What made it tough was the fact that none of the classes that I found myself in had anything to do with engineering and I was doing absolutely horrible in them. And then add the fact that I had all of the additional useless activities that the UD Residence Life program wanted me to participate in (which thankfully don't exist anymore due to a lawsuit) I had just about enough of it. I felt like I was learning absolutely nothing, and that I was making no progress towards an engineering degree. I knew that I had to switch my major. I learned in college that the University has no incentive in helping you switch from one major to the other, and that it's probably a less painful to light yourself on fire than switch majors.
I figured since I liked what had done in my career at DEMA the summer prior to college, I would look into the emergency management profession. The University of Delaware had a program in the emergency management field through their Disaster Research Center that seemed to fit my interests. After hours and hours of aggravation working with the Academic Advisement Office, Dean's Office of both engineering and arts and sciences, the Registrar, and my advisors, I finally was able to switch to a new major. Looking back, I rather would have had a more in depth emergency management program involved in the degree, but I feel that I've learned most of what I know in this field through self-study and my employment over the past four years. I learned in college that experience is sometimes much more valuable than the education that's provided at a university.
It really started looking up. During spring semester of my freshman year, I was taking three political science courses which I really enjoyed, and found much more interesting than anything I took while in engineering. Two of the courses were in the 300 level (Junior), and I still found them much easier than the intro level math courses I was taking. There's still a D- in College Pre-calculus (a class which I never needed) on my transcript which completely screws up my GPA. I started really getting the hang of college and the process required to study for exams. Over the next four years, I learned what classes I actually needed to attend, and what ones were a waste of time. In some classes, buying the books were a complete waste of money, and I believe I saved quite a bit of money by refraining to purchase books in many cases. I learned in college to not waste time doing things that really don't have to be done, and not to waste money buying things that don't have to be bought.
I finished my first year of college with a new vision of where I was going. I felt like I was on the right track to a career in emergency management and that I probably would be able to keep up with the amount of school work required in the upcoming years. Sophomore year I would move into some of the brand new dorms on the north part of Newark with someone I knew. I really felt like I had a good handle on what was going on around me and I made the best attempt to have a positive outlook for the upcoming year. Unfortunately, that year held so much promise that I never was able to take advantage of. Sophomore year really brought out some hidden problems in my personal life that I continued to ignore up until that point. I learned valuable lessons about trust, friendship, and maturity. It's obvious when I observe the way I acted in the past, that I never really matured when I thought I did. I acted like a moron, in the way I treated people and the way I portrayed myself. I don't know if I wanted attention or if I was just completely clueless. I really found that those around me hadn't matured either. I questioned their morals and I questioned mine. I don't know if I have ever been as lost in my life. I learned in that trust, friendship, and maturity are something to cherish, and if lost may never be regained fully again.
I realized that I had made no effort to meet people, understand people, or even introduce myself. If there is one thing that a potential college student reads in this blog, this is by far the most important part. It is absolutely critical that you find something to do with your spare time while at college. This allows for you to relax and find new hobbies or interests, and also helps to act as an interface to meet new people. Whether it be going out to house parties every weekend, joining clubs, joining fraternities or sororities, or playing a sport, you need to find something to do with your extra time. Even as ridiculous as one might find the usefulness of drunken house parties to ones life, it's much better than sitting in your dorm room for hours on end playing guitar by yourself. Just do whatever you can to meet people and learn about them. You'll probably meet a lot of really good friends along the way. I learned in college that no matter how well you can play the blues on guitar, if you don't have someone else playing with you, you're just wasting your time.
Though I didn't react fast enough to the fact that I was wasting my free time in college, I did find something to spend a significant amount of time meeting people and helping the community at the same time. Months after I had joined the Lewes Fire Department down at home, I joined the Christiana Fire Company in New Castle County during my Junior year to both learn more about incident management and meet people who were interested in helping the community during an emergency. I started riding during the day at Station 3, then spending the night a lot at Station 3, and eventually ended up moving in there completely during the first half of my Senior year. The friends from high schooI that I had moved in with at the Christiana Towers during my Junior year never understood how I could spend so much time at a firehouse. I really feel like the fire department helped me keep my sanity the last two years I was at the University and I respect the people I've met at both Christiana and Aetna for keeping me involved and interested in the fire service.
After four years, I realized Newark was changing around me. Through sophomore year into the time I graduated, I realized that the place I came to on my first day was evolving every second. Businesses were changing, new buildings were being built, others being torn down. Even the restaurant on Elkton Rd. that we went to that first day freshman year was torn down and replaced with stores and apartments. I really got to know Newark well and even as it changed I liked it. It's strange looking back at pictures from 2006 and looking at the landscape of a town that is completely different today. I learned in college that the environment around you may evolve faster than you evolve yourself.
And I'm not sure how much I evolved. They say in college, that you're brainwashed and made to think differently about your morals and political views by the college administration. I'd have to say, the students here at the University have changed my perspective on more things than the actual administration has. Really just seeing how these people operate in society has really shown me what goes on in real life, and what to expect in the real world. I never once had a professor who could change my opinion, but in many cases provided an extremely unique perspective on something. Though some professors didn't do a good job, I had a few that impressed me and will be getting good reviews from me on "ratemyprofessors.com". Weird that I waited four years to fill out reviews on that website? I learned in college that it's absolutely imperative to look at every possible outcome and variable to a situation or you might not really know the truth about it.
I failed at that in many cases. I never looked at the outcomes of the many decisions I made in college and how they would effect me and my long term plans. I made irrational decisions, some of which worked out, most of which didn't. And over the past four years I've had a lot of time to think about those decisions and what I would have done differently. Even my decision on major or what college I should have went to could be disputed. Should I just have went to DelTech for two years and got an associates for free with the STEM program? Should I have applied to transfer to a different school when I decided to get out of engineering? Should I have planned my major out better when I applied in high school? Should I have just joined the military and gotten an ROTC scholarship? I learned in college that hindsight is always 20/20.
When I arrived at the Russell B dorm on that first day, I severely miscalculated the outcome to having a negative attitude about the next four years. That negative attitude resulted in a catastrophic failure to enjoy any sense of a professional and social life here at the University. Just that simple fact that I was pissed off that morning created a chain reaction which drastically destroyed any potential recovery of my college experience. This has been a tough four years, with work, with friends, with family, and with school. The reason it's been tough has been due to the causal relationship between that first day and the next four years. I learned in college that one bad mistake can haunt you forever.
Regardless, I'm still here. Still here in Newark as 4,000 of my graduated peers have went home with memories and experiences that they will never be able to recreate. Off to start their lives, probably settle down, and move on. I've got a piece of paper that says I attended college. The key lesson I learned in college, is that the defining moment of any chapter in life is the start of it. For this next chapter, I'm going to make the best of it and not be pessimistic on what could potentially be the best chapter of my life.
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